What do you know?

Apparently, unbeknownst to them, my grandparents were model Mormons.

I want

this, too.

This guy rules.

Not only do I want the book, I want this dude's e-mail address.

PS I've been invited to Skit Night at the Church of Latter Day Saints this Saturday Night by our IT guy. He wrote a skit about Joseph Smith's life. Better read the "Book of Mormon" he gave me first.

Mining the back of "Scientific American"

for post-worthy materials, I found DNA Stuff. (No, not that kind of DNA stuff)

For my birthday I would like a James Watson bobblehead, please.

You speak Klingon, too???

This is even hotter than veggiedate.com.

It's true.

Shrimp have hovered beneath the Christian radar long enough. Especially the gay shrimp.

Erection killers.

Here's your link.

Me?

I'm sort of a pussy type, myself.

Back with another one of those...

blog-rockin' posts.

Childhood

So I'm putting off my schoolwork *still* and checked out www.homestarrunner.com. The newest StrongBad e-mail has The Cheat MCing on a vintage tan Fisher Price phonograph, the kind I used when jamming out to "Strawberry Shortcake Takes Manhattan," "The Care Bear Album," and, of course, "Thriller." So I went to E-bay and found a treasure trove of shit, including My Friend Jenny and My Friend Becky dolls, and this. sniff, sniff. Those were the days.

O-baby

There is this pitbull at the dog park who is owned by this 23-year-old maintenance man with a tattoo on his forearm that he tells me is the Chinese symbol for "musician." I wanted to be all, "no, actually, that kanji means 'I like it in the ass' or something, but I'm trying to be less horrifying these days. Anyway, this dude has no business owning a pitbull, particularly one who spent the first year of her life in a crate somewhere. This stupid vicious dog goes after the O-baby everyday, and yesterday was no different. I wish this dude would just take his stupid vicious dog somewhere where she wouldn't be a menace. In any event, I was at the terrace today being hit on by this cute Indian dude named Taroun when I saw a gash in O-man's side in the shape of a canine tooth. So I am absolutely furious with this fucker. He never even apologizes for his fucking monster animal. I seriously question his reasons for getting such a dog in the first place.

Guaranty Bank

So I stopped at the ATM outside of State Street Brats but can't take money out because my checking balance is $20.49, which sucks 'cause I was hella hungry and hungover. I went home and called to make a transfer from savings so that I can eat before paycheck next but I forgot to include the (800) part of the number. I got a dude's answering machine saying "The bank is closed forever, so don't bother leaving a message"!!! Apparently there are other 'tards calling him

Midnight snack

I just snacked on some frozen edamame, which were surprisingly delish. I began the process of registering for summer and fall classes. I decided, finally, that my department can go fuck itself if it's going to punish me for studying the hardest language ever, so I'm accepting the summer fellowship and taking intensive Japanese 3&4. Hooray for me. In other news I have two term papers due in the next month, amazon is fucking with me, promising to have my books by May 1 (awesome. My paper's due on the 5th, fucktards) and I am trying to read Augustin Berque in French since apparently no one ever bothered to translate his work into English.

Yesss!

Anus bleach!!!!
Science, when will you find a solution to these unsightly nipples?

Crapenfreude

Man, if I were developmentally disabled I'd be pissed! I'd be all running foam helmet-first into a wall in frustration at the hackneyed plotline and saccharine 'message' (e.g., "in these complicated and troubling times, we can all learn a little something from the 'tards.")

awesome.

http://www.godhatesjanks.org/intro.htm

meep

The Hat Party

This my classmate Marsh-san's band. I'm going to their show tomorrow night.

Sheesh

Okay, I finally figured out that I could just edit that stupid kudzu post and get my crappy blog back on track. It's been a tough few weeks involving a little problem with the Dean's Office at school which appears to be resolved with the best possible outcome. I have received summer funding but might have to quit my job in order to accept it, so that's another crisis. After a few sleepless nights I slept 14 full hours last night. So that's all the news for now. I will resume uploading e-irrelevance soon.